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Posted by
Danny des Pirate October 17, 2009 -
751 views
And from the very moment my ex-girlfriend's canine uttered these words I got the distinct impression I was in trouble. I hadn't seen her (the ex) for several years, so much so I failed to recognize the crumpled figure camped on my doorstep yesterday evening. OK it was a different colored glass eye in her left socket, but I still should have known her after those far from wonderful 13.67 days we spent together back in 1998. So, off to a bad start then, and consequently immediately on the back foot, and then forced to blurt apologies even as Slobber-Head and Mistress coolly waltzed by me and sat down on the only vaguely comfortable chair I have left.
I sank into an extended coma for the next 4h 43m while she recounted events since we last spoke, the gist (I think) being that something or other hadn't gone exactly according to plan and she wasn't terribly impressed with her current general situation or job or boyfriend or girlfriend or flat.... To be honest, it still seems a blur at the moment so it's best if I remain hazy on details in case I missed something important, besides my own good eye was firmly on the aptly slobbering mouth of Slobber-Head, until he too grew bored with me and a story he seemed to have memorized. At 20:32 he fell asleep on his back with all four legs dangling precariously in the air, and occasionally twitching when deep thoughts troubled his doggy dream state.
It was only when I detected a scale 10 High Rise Terminal that I realized we had moved beyond the rhetorical, and a response was expected. I shrugged, and asked if she would like a coffee, while attempting to avoid any eye contact that could be construed wrongly.
"Well?" she demanded from over my shoulder having followed me the small galley kitchen that is barely tucked out of sight from the main non-activity area.
"There's a lot to take in...?" I countered, hopefully as opposed to convincingly, and then (by way of classic subterfuge...). "By the way, Cheryl, when did the dog start to talk?"
The rest of the evening was equally uneventful. But I thought I would make a note of it in case she ever turns up again. I also need some stitches to a rather deep bite to my left calf that is, as I type, singularly unimpressed with two under-sized Band Aids, and so sporadically leaking onto my new birthday socks that I rather unwisely chose to put on today.
