its kind of a slippery slope on this topic. i've been in both situations. and while it’s nice as a touring band to have a prime spot, if my band has never played the town or club and it’s a smaller market city chances are I am just happy to have a show booked. As a smaller /less known group in whatever area you playing you can’t expect to have a good spot on the line up, so the rule your talking about is more of courtesy, then a rule. Whenever I go out of town to play shows, I’m always just happy to play and never worry about anything other than playing a good show.
Personally I would rather play first and be hard to follow by the rest of the acts then sit through the whole show waiting my turn. Most of the time first band loads right on to the stage and as an out of town band touring sometimes it nice to have the opportunity to fully set up gear right and not be rushed by the later time slots. Also comes down to just getting paid. If that’s taken care of that’s really all that should matter for the out of town band.
On the flip side, my band plays with a lot touring bands (we are in a big market city: SF, so everybody comes here) so depending on the booker/venue or what not we always try make it a good show and everyone always gets paid. My big issue about “touring band/prime spot rule” is that; when we play local in our home town we bust ass to make it a good show, promotion fliering, getting people to show up what not. So in a few instances it kind of rubs me the wrong way when a less known touring band gets a primo spot and my band gets stuck either playing to early or really late especially on week night. Just because you drove 500 miles shouldn’t earn you any special privileges. I think bands should get in the mindset of it’s more about putting a good show for the people that show up to support local music, not the bands ego’s because they think they deserve it because they drove 6 hours to play a show. Maybe your band is a better in the opening slot then later on in the night? Or visa-versa? Work that shit out with the booker and make the best show possible for the people that come out.
Not meaning to sound harsh on any of this. just my two cents.