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  • Topic: Drink 2012: The Douchification of Northwest 21st Avenue

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    • April 11, 2012 4:42 PM CDT
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      {Does anyone else have stories like this, about a fairly cool, or at least tolerable, drinking area going to the dogs? This made me laugh...}

      [via Portland, OR Willamette Week Drink Guide]

      It was my friend Christian Gaston, as it so often is, who first noticed the omen: a retractable belt barrier on the sidewalk of Northwest 21st Avenue. It was outside the latest location of the sports-bar chain Blitz, containing the crowd lining up to grind away a winter Friday night. But it was also a bugle call in a short and one-sided war, one that could be measured in the flipped chairs outside M Bar. 

      Nob Hill has gone to the bros.

      The bridge-and-tunnel crowd in Portland used to congregate only in Old Town, at clubs like Dixie, Barracuda and XV. But as the shopping district of “Trendy First and Trendy Third” faded in the recession, the only trend in the Alphabet District is Major League Soccer—turning Northwest into a de facto stadium district on game nights, and an outdoor frat house every weekend.

      Venturing into this douchebag spring on a recent Saturday after a Timbers loss, I stopped first at the brand-new Kells location: a not even ostensibly Irish-themed brewpub-cum-meat market. The place still smelled of fresh paint; the large room with its private wooden nooks was sweltering. Men in striped shirts and ballcaps exchanged whispers with women in tight, ill-fitted striped dresses. In the dim light, it looked like a referee convention. 

      Outside, a twentysomething dude in a green scarf ran in circles in the street until one of his buddies put him in a headlock.

      This scene was quiet compared with the Silver Dollar Saloon. The dive was standing-room only, and a man in the doorway made three boob grabs through a woman’s red Adidas scarf before she slapped him away. The din of the crowd—much yelling about finding a strip club—was punctuated by intermittent, alarming thuds from a punching-bag machine.

      In the men’s room, someone was attacking the malfunctioning paper-towel dispenser. “Karate chop that,” his friend suggested. “Punch that shit! Fucking punch that shit!” 

      It was an accidentally symbolic moment. The lads of the stadium district are going to attack Northwest 21st until it falls apart.

    • April 12, 2012 3:47 PM CDT
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      Ha! That's the truth! One of my friends went to Carnegie-Mellon for his BS, and I'm sure he's seen it change sooo much in, jeez, 29 years, yipe! What's rent like for you? Here $600 for a 1-bedroom is considered a pretty good deal (2nd tightest market inna country, ow!).

      As for venues here, we don't have a strip like so many cities, they're kinda measled all over, so in a way it's kind of a blessing. One place gets over-run, you can find another. Unfortunately, there aren't too many punky dives here, more alt/hipster type clubs. Still, a nice city w/ good roadshows.

      Looking forward to more insight from ya, Dave

    • April 12, 2012 1:57 PM CDT
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      Well, it's easy for me to take it so lightly, because I don't live on the South Side.  Some of my musician friends live there, and they have to put up with this all the time.  One of them actually said to me, "I'm sick and tired of beautiful women," because of all the young hotties who flock to the South Side.  It's not often you hear a guy say that:)

      dave said:

      Cool, glad you can still look at these twits and smile :) Also glad you've seen some great bands there. BTW, You apparently are "the new Portland" for better or worse. Hope it blows over faster there than it did here. Take it easy, Dave

    • April 12, 2012 12:11 PM CDT
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      Cool, glad you can still look at these twits and smile :) Also glad you've seen some great bands there. BTW, You apparently are "the new Portland" for better or worse. Hope it blows over faster there than it did here. Take it easy, Dave

    • April 12, 2012 10:29 AM CDT
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      I couldn't talk at length about this last night because I had to run out for an errand.

      Anyway, yeah, I've heard the same thing here about East Carson Street, which is the main drag on Pittsburgh's South Side.  Quite honestly, the area has always been a huge meat market, with maybe a handful of people involved in the local art and music scene.    Personally, I have nothing against the douchebags, just as long as they don't cause me any problems.  As for the people who live on the South Side and complain about the noise and litter (not to mention finding vomit in their yards in the morning), well, they should have known to expect this when they decided to live on the South Side.

      BTW, I do enjoy observing the douchebags on the South Side.  It's the greatest kind of free entertainment ever.  Nothing like standing outside the Rex Theatre and watching a douchebag getting into a fist fight with a couple of bouncers across the street in front of Diesel.

      I have some good memories of the South Side...I saw the Cynics a few times at Zythos and the Rex Theatre; I saw Les Hell on Heels at the Smilin' Moose and the Pipettes at Diesel, and I heard later on that the Pipettes hung out at Dee's after the show; I saw Dick Dale at the Rex Theatre; I saw the Science Fiction Idols a bunch of times at Excuses and the Smilin' Moose, so it's not all bad.

      Anyone else around here have the same problem with a particular watering hole or strip?

    • April 11, 2012 6:45 PM CDT
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      This sounds very similar to the complaints I've heard here in Pittsburgh about the South Side.  I'll add some commentary later.

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